Overthinking and Fear

 You know what to do, you're just scared to do it. 

This back and forth is just fear.

- Grey's anatomy. 

 While watching Grey's anatomy, I related a lot to this quote. Although it was aimed at a cancer patient who has WAY more life-threatening problems in the show than I do, it still hit a chord. Coincidentally, this is something my mom just told me a few weeks ago while I was stressing over what I'll major in in university and where to apply to and complaining over the stress of upcoming exams. Tiny hiccups that just happened to be taking a toll on my mental health because I tend to greatly overthink. However, my mom set me straight (god bless her) and made me realize I know exactly what I want to do.

I know that I want to write until my fingers hurt. I know that I want to start expanding on my reading selection and start reading books I usually wouldn't give a second glance. I know that I want to become more educated on matters like my religion and politics. I know that I'm passionate about psychology and developing my knowledge of human behavior. I know that if majoring in psychology doesn't work out Ill just switch to something else that also interests me, possibly multimedia journalism. Or better yet, double major. I know exactly what I want to do. I know that there are many many routes I can take in my life and that life is full of opportunities. I should be filled with gratitude that I am able to lead my life and career to wherever I want it to go. 

I'm lucky that I have this freedom however it gives off a strong bittersweet vibe. This freedom is like floating in the middle of a vast ocean without any idea where my destination is.Too many choices make me anxious because I'm absolutely terrified of making the wrong one.

Fear of the future and failure is what's keeping me back. I need to have hope and faith in myself. I am capable of doing anything.

I know I won't disappoint myself.